John Denver said it best:
all my bags are packed, I’m ready to go
I’m sittin’ here beside your bed
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
but the dawn is breakin’, it’s early morn
your Daddy’s waitin’, he’s blowin’ his horn
already I’m so lonesome I could cry
I may have fudged the words a bit. I’m going to miss my baby boy. I’m going to miss the other three as well, obviously, but there’s just something about leaving a baby. I know he won’t forget me, but we’re together 24/7. It’s like leaving my right arm behind. I might just empty my suitcase and put him in there instead. Except that would be hugely dangerous and illegal and MOVING RIGHT ALONG HERE.
My friend Laura is heading to a different conference this weekend, but she wrote a post I thought was neat. So I’m writing this for Angella and Loukia and Schmutzie and the Palinode (I have two sets of roommates, one for the first two nights, one for the third night)(we are not squeezing five people into one room)(yikes). Three fourths of these people already know me, but we’ve never stayed under the same roof before. So, here, this is for you. And, I guess, anyone else I might run into. Be forewarned. Or something.
Oh, and my name is Jen. (In case you didn’t know that.) With one N. Spell it with two and I’ll throw empty threats in your direction. If you call me Jenny, I will punch you. Except not really. I also answer to Mrs. Wilson, but not in a formal way, just in a it’s-in-my-blog-name-and-sometimes-people-call-me-that sort of way.
1. I’m not a morning person. If I look a little scary and I growl a bit, don’t be scared. It will pass as soon as I have a couple cans of Diet Coke in my system. That being said, I’m usually up before the sun (what with the whole living-with-a-toddler thing), but I promise to be quiet until you’re awake. Maybe.
2. I’ve mastered the five-minute shower and I like to have a little nap afterward. I’m not a bathroom hog, is what I’m saying. Although sometimes I go in there to hide from people who yell at me, so as long as you can keep from yelling “NO!” and throwing food at me, we should be okay.
3. I have foot-in-mouth disease, in that I put my foot in my mouth. A lot. I’m apologizing in advance. It’s a good thing I don’t drink anymore, because that usually worsens the symptoms. There’s a reason my Twitter bio used to read “I’m not a very nice person”. That is, before Raffi came and saved the day.
4. I like opinionated people who talk a lot. If this is you, perfect! If it’s not, I’m still going to like you. But I may pull someone else into the conversation so that there is someone to do the talking so that #3. above doesn’t happen so often.
5. I’m a little bit sarcastic. I’ve been told this is just a defense mechanism, but I like laughing. It’s good for the soul. And the abs.
6. I can be kind of a night owl. I mean, I often go to bed at 8:30pm, but once I get my second wind, I might not be tired again until 2am. If you’re asleep, I promise to be quiet. If you’re awake, I promise to keep you company.
7. I totally didn’t mean to just glare at you. Apparently when I’m wearing my “relaxed” face, it looks like my “I’m-glaring-at-you” face. Kind of like this, I’m told:
It’s not you. It’s me. For real. If I ever do glare at you, we’ll be face to face and it will be followed, in mere seconds, by laughter. Because you’ll have made fun of me and it’s my duty to send evil death rays your way. Except that I have a sense of humour and thick skin, so I don’t take anything too seriously.
8. I don’t wear dresses. I packed three. This is huge in my world. I’ll try to act a little bit ladylike. (I said “try”. There are no guarantees.)
9. By the time I see you, I will likely not have slept for about 30 hours or so. I might be a bit (more) loopy (than normal).
10. I’m terrified of spiders. Just saying.
I think that’s all you need. And don’t worry, I don’t snore.