I had to leave Preston for four hours this morning. I had anxiety about it in the days leading up to it, I had anxiety when I dropped him off, I had a lot of anxiety when I was away from him, and it only stopped when I picked him back up.
I completely, 100%, trusted the friend that was caring for him, and I knew he would be fine, but I can’t handle being away from him. I checked in a couple times and made Noah check in when I couldn’t. I knew everything would be fine, but I had to be told it was fine. Over and over again.
It wouldn’t have been better if I’d left him with Noah, I would have just checked in more often, as he knows how crazy I am, whereas I tell myself that my friend doesn’t. (Even though she does.)
Noah and I went to the grocery store a couple blocks away, just the two of us, while my parents were here. They offered for us to go for coffee too, but I told Noah no way no how was that happening, and that he was lucky I was leaving Preston long enough to go to the grocery store.
Is it just me? Am I overly attached to my baby? Should I be more okay about leaving him?
Should I tell you the part where I put my hand on him 200 times a day when he’s sleeping to make sure he’s still breathing or will you just think I’m even more insane?