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baby anxiety

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I had to leave Preston for four hours this morning. I had anxiety about it in the days leading up to it, I had anxiety when I dropped him off, I had a lot of anxiety when I was away from him, and it only stopped when I picked him back up.

I completely, 100%, trusted the friend that was caring for him, and I knew he would be fine, but I can’t handle being away from him. I checked in a couple times and made Noah check in when I couldn’t. I knew everything would be fine, but I had to be told it was fine. Over and over again.

It wouldn’t have been better if I’d left him with Noah, I would have just checked in more often, as he knows how crazy I am, whereas I tell myself that my friend doesn’t. (Even though she does.)

Noah and I went to the grocery store a couple blocks away, just the two of us, while my parents were here. They offered for us to go for coffee too, but I told Noah no way no how was that happening, and that he was lucky I was leaving Preston long enough to go to the grocery store.

Is it just me? Am I overly attached to my baby? Should I be more okay about leaving him?

Should I tell you the part where I put my hand on him 200 times a day when he’s sleeping to make sure he’s still breathing or will you just think I’m even more insane?

Categories: anxiety/depression, parenting is hard

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Ashley Monday, May 30, 2011, 4:33 pm

    I think you’re totally normal. At least, I told myself that was normal, because this post only echoes how it was when my girls where babies. I still only leave them with my husband or my mom. Period. The in-laws don’t get a chance (mostly because they are certifiable, but this is about the babies, not the crazies). We were away for two nights from our girls this fall, across a ferry and leaving them I cried for an hour, then the first night bawled myself to sleep because “what if….!!!!” Makes for sexy anniversary nights, but I say it also makes for a good Mom.

    Also, I still check our girls’ breathing every night before bed, because “What if”

  • Eryn Monday, May 30, 2011, 4:46 pm

    I’m not a parent but it sounds perfectly normal to me. I remember when I had to babysit my sister’s 6 month old son and I was like that. Didn’t sleep for the first two nights I’m sure cause I couldn’t hear him breathing on the monitor. I can only imagine how it would be with your own child. And you’re not insane, you simply love your child!

  • venessa Monday, May 30, 2011, 4:53 pm

    Preston is only 6 weeks old. It is ok…. I had a hard time leaving when they were that young too. If he was a year old that is a bit different. Not saying for two nights and not worry, but 4 hours should be a breeze when he is a year. 6 weeks is young and he is attached to you to. He cried when Jer was holding him….I think that he expected Noah. But he calmed right away and Jer did it. Thank you for trusting me.

    You are not insane cause you care for your kids. You are just insane if you keep calling him fronan….lol JJ.

    You know that we would take all your kids for you for a date night if you would want. I say we cause Jer would HAVE to be here….haha. but that can wait till Preston is a bit older.

    and yes I still do there breathing test every so often cause what if???? especially since Zandria potentally has something wrong with her nervous system… You are a normal caring mom. :)

  • Lollie Monday, May 30, 2011, 4:57 pm

    It’s totally normal!!! And if you get to #5 your husband will have it too! LOL! Josh wouldn’t leave Madalyn anywhere we had to take her with us everywhere! LOL! He was really sad when he had to go back to work when she was 2months old.

  • Lisa Braun Monday, May 30, 2011, 7:24 pm

    Yup, that’s pretty normal girl. I would often check on my kids too when they were little. Then there’s that how to let your baby sleep thing…tummy’s not good, back’s not good, side is uncomfortable…..yikes, mine slept best on their tummies. For goodness sakes, when having a baby, everyone has their opinion and you don’t always know who to listen to. Just gotta decide what works for you and your young ones. Your baby is young yet and as he continues getting older, you will feel more comfortable leaving him for short times. It’ll come…no need to rush it.
    HUGS babe! You’re a GREAT mom! :)

  • Annie Monday, May 30, 2011, 8:27 pm

    Is it because of that time Lili fell down the stairs in my house?? kidding…I still have separation anxiety leaving Michaela!!

  • bethany actually Monday, May 30, 2011, 8:49 pm

    Another vote for normal. :-) That’s just called “being a mom”!

  • Kami Monday, May 30, 2011, 9:24 pm

    If you are insane so are the rest of us! It’s all part of being mom to a newborn and in a few months I am quite certain you will be a little less anxious.

    xoxoxoxo

  • Janna Monday, May 30, 2011, 10:24 pm

    It’s biological. Infants depend on their mothers for survival and mothers are hormonally and chemically wired to make sure that their child survives.

  • Angella Tuesday, May 31, 2011, 7:53 am

    He’s still so NEW! It’s totally normal. :)

  • Sonja Tuesday, May 31, 2011, 6:39 pm

    Yup, sounds normal to me. :)
    Soon enough, he’ll be an annoying toddler you’ll be happy to leave.
    Wait, did I just say that out loud?! I mean… he’ll be a delightful little boy who’ll be okay without mommy for a few hours. My child may have annoyed me a bit today. Hahahaha.

  • Jo Thursday, June 2, 2011, 7:48 am

    When David first started sleeping through the night, I remember getting up multiple times to see if he was still breathing. I had a hard time leaving him as well. What you are experiencing if very normal.

    My coping mechanism for dealing with anxiety is to set my expectation level in such a way, that I expect to feel horribly anxious and then when the day comes it is not a surprise. Does that makes sense.

    (It’s like when someone promises your kids that they will pick them up at 5 pm every Friday night, but they never show up until 9 pm. The period from 5-9 is therefore stressfull/anxious, etc. night after night. But when you expect that they will not be picked up until 9, and their ride arrives earlier, the stress/anxiety level greatly diminishes!)

    Hugs and love, Jo