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contemplation

I’ve been thinking about this whole blogging thing a lot lately. Why do I do it? Why do I keep doing it? Is it worth it? Is there value in it? What is the point?

Little mister is having a rough night. I took him to the couch for cuddles, and he got up and went to Noah for cuddles instead. What happened to my mama's boy?

Why do I write words and post photos for people I don’t know? People I don’t talk to anymore (because of distance or the fact that I suck at being a friend)? If someone had brought up the idea of blogging 20 years ago, what would the reaction be? WHO would even do that? WHY would you write everything about yourself and make it publicly available?

That being said, I obviously don’t write everything about myself (or my kids or my husband), but only little snippets, but even then. Why do I do it?

helper in a jack-o-lantern shirt.

Kaylie and her BFF, waiting for the band clinic to start.

All dressed up with no place to go. (He's got green snot happening, which means church nursery is not happening.)

There's a Mystery Girl at our house this morning and I don't know who she is.

I originally started blogging back in 2004, just after Noah and I started dating. It was pretty much just a journal I wrote in that happened to be online. I had exactly one reader. I wrote because I liked writing. I wrote because I’d gone through huge life changes that winter/spring/summer and I needed an outlet. I wrote because I’d always kept a journal and I liked looking back on what I’d written years earlier. (Although in some cases, I kind of wanted to slap myself for who I was and/or what I’d written years earlier.)

I’ve been thinking, lately, of shutting this place down. Of stopping this whole writing-about-my-life-and-thoughts thing. Because what’s the point? Sometimes it makes me feel all vulnerable and out there and I just want to hide in a dark little corner where nobody knows me or anything about me. It’s not like I’m not doing it for the money. I mean, I have ads on my site, but they’re there to cover my hosting fees. And sometimes they even cover a coffee or two. So what I am I doing it for?

Both dudes love Little Einsteins.

breakfast #latergram

up close

I write less about Kaylie now, because she’s becoming her own person, and she has friends who have access to the Internet. She’s writing her own story, and if I were her, I wouldn’t want my mom writing publicly about it. Besides on her birthday. If I asked her, I know she’d say she doesn’t mind me writing about her or posting photos of her, but I also know that kids can be mean and I don’t want to give some kid ammunition against her.

Liliana, on the other hand, thinks it’s the best thing ever that her words and pictures are on the Internet for everyone to see. Because she loves being the centre of attention. She loves to be SEEN and HEARD. And EVERYONE LOOK AT ME!

And then there’s Preston. The sight of his own face puts a big huge smile on his face. And Kesler’s mama likes seeing his little face while she’s at work, so things are okay there, too.

Kesler's been carrying around a baby all morning. Being very gentle. @melthiessen

someone has the day off today. thank goodness. #sickbabies @melthiessen

Raking leaves with a baby on your back? Now that's a workout.

Noah completely supports this blogging thing, and since he edits most of my posts before or just after they go live, there’s never any content that he doesn’t approve of. I don’t think I could do this blogging thing if he didn’t approve of it. It would just feel … wrong. But he does. He encourages it, even. And as much as he thinks that going to a blogging conference is SO COMPLETELY NERDY, he encourages that, too. And I’m thankful for it.

Sometimes I think blogging is a waste of time, but then, it’s not. A post doesn’t take me that long — an hour at most, but usually less now that I’m using iPhone photos instead of real photos — and what’s an hour, when it’s spent on something you enjoy doing?

We harvested the pumpkin!

Someone is allowed back on screens. And it taking full advantage of it.

how boys watch football

I’m not going anywhere, though. Not right now, anyway. I kind of like this little place on the internet that is all mine. My space, my rules, my privacy settings.

And besides, I need somewhere to keep track of when my son first started saying “touch down”.

Touchdown! (03/10/12) from Jen on Vimeo.

Categories: I'm a nerd

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Bre Wednesday, October 3, 2012, 11:45 am

    Dropping a comment to say I love your blog and the snippet of your family’s life, however I completely understand the worry of your life (and your children’s) on the web. Selfishly I hope you keep blogging!

  • bethany actually Wednesday, October 3, 2012, 11:54 am

    I think you should keep blogging because you’re a fantastic writer. I love reading your take on the world, and I would miss your posts!

    I’ve been struggling with similar thoughts lately, except I know exactly why I blog: because Troy is in the Navy, and we live so far away from so many loved ones, I want to keep doing it so people can see how we’re doing. But I have not been doing that kind of blogging much lately. Also, it’s a creative outlet and a place to write. But it’s seemed like such a low priority lately, I keep thinking that calling myself a blogger is getting increasingly inaccurate. But at the same time, I can’t imagine actually stopping.

  • Kami Wednesday, October 3, 2012, 12:41 pm

    I think about all these same things too but the reality is, when I go back through a photo book and read the posts that I put in there, I am so glad I do it. Sure I could journal and achieve the same thing but I wouldn’t. The fact that a few other people would read it makes me do it more than I would write in a journal.

    Great post, it got me thinking….

  • Meg Wednesday, October 3, 2012, 1:33 pm

    Oh lady. I hear you. Minus the parts about writing about my kids and someone editing my posts :)
    I cycle through these phases of being really stoked to write and not wanting to out myself out there. I just realized recently I had over ten years of online blog entries, so I was pretty impressed about that, even though most are just a couple of lines long.
    What a ramble. I’m trying to say, I would miss your writing :)

  • Kristan Wednesday, October 3, 2012, 2:39 pm

    I’m so glad you’re not stopping. I love your blog! :)

  • Ashley Wednesday, October 3, 2012, 9:52 pm

    I’m with you. 100% Also, I loath football but that’s a pretty cute “Touch Down”!

  • Angella Friday, October 5, 2012, 9:51 am

    I totally hear you, and I’m not going anywhere, either. I love that I can look back at so many memories that I never would have taken the time to document, had I not been blogging.

  • Sarah Friday, October 5, 2012, 12:55 pm

    Good to see Preston mastering vital vocabulary! Touch down!

  • Judy Cranston Friday, October 5, 2012, 6:44 pm

    I don’t know how I came across your blog or when.but I so enjoy rading about your life and I LOVE Preston’s red hair…..I come from a family of red-heads :-)
    I am a 62 year old Grandma who loves the Lord and I hope you don’t mind me following you and your families daily adventures.

    • mrswilson Friday, October 5, 2012, 7:01 pm

      I don’t mind at all!! Any red-head is a friend of mine. I’m kind of biased toward them. :)

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