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it’s all in my head

I so wish I lived on the edge of the city so I could get a better view of the sunset (or sunrise). the sky is so beautiful tonight.

I compose the best blog posts when I’m nowhere near a computer. Usually when I’m running or driving or in the garden. Places I cannot type or write anything down. Those posts never make it to the computer screen. I wish they would, though.

I’ve been struggling with motivation lately when it relates to anything that involves leaving my house or yard. Especially when it relates to running. As much as I say I love running (and I do), sometimes I hate it. I’m always, always happy at the end of my runs, glad I went out and did them, but getting out the door? It’s not easy. Even on the days that I want to run.

I’ve started measuring my runs in miles now that my next race will be measured in miles. Also because 13.1 miles sounds a lot less than 21.1 kilometres.

lamp light

So what’s standing in my way? Fear, mostly. Fear that my asthma will act up and I won’t be able to breathe, fear that I won’t be able to reach my goal, fear of leaving the house in general. Fear is a jerk. I’m trying to kick its butt.

The app I use talks to me every mile, telling me how I am doing and how fast (or slow) I’m running. It’s funny, when I feel like I’m having a horribly slow run and my body hates me and I’m never going to be able to run 13.1 miles, my time ends up being awesome. It doesn’t make much sense to me.

Back in March, I was running a kilometre in 8:00. Now I’m running them in 6:30, sometimes as fast as 6:05. I know that’s still relatively slow, but it’s improvement. I’m nowhere near the kind of runner who can actually win a race, so I’m racing myself. Always racing myself.

I knocked nine minutes off my 10k time in six weeks. There were other factors to that accomplishment, too, like the temperature at the first race was -20°C/-4°F and there were harsh winds, and the second race had perfect weather and I was running with my super-awesome running coach/personal trainer Kami.

That’s what I need to keep going, though. Improvement. Faster times. Good runs. These things are more easily accomplished after getting my butt out of my house, though.

Eleven and a half weeks till race day. Let’s do this thing.

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  • Kami Thursday, June 20, 2013, 2:04 pm

    I struggle with all those same things and one thing I have learned is to just get out there. Even a bad run is a good because I did it.

    You will do this and I’ll be waiting at the finish to cheer you on – that’s a promise! If I can run the last bit with you, I will too :)

    • jen Thursday, June 20, 2013, 2:11 pm

      That would be awesome!!!

  • Angella Thursday, June 20, 2013, 2:23 pm

    You can do this! So can I!

    I struggle, too, but Kami nailed it. Every bad run is good because you RAN.

  • Ashley S Thursday, June 20, 2013, 6:59 pm

    I echo the ladies above! You can totally do it!!! And every run is awesome. Anytime in life we face a fear and kick it in the head, we win!