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monotone

the sun is out
the sky is blue
it’s beautiful
and so are you

I’ve been struggling this week. My crazy pill prescription ran out so I figured I’d taper it a bit and then see how I did without it. If I crashed and burned, I’d refill the prescription. But, if I did okay, and was actually able to FEEL THINGS again, I’d play it by ear.

I hate taking meds. I like some of the effects of them, like the not being (as) crazy and angry all the time, but I don’t like being unable to feel. I don’t feel depressed, but I also don’t feel joy. I miss feeling joy. Bad things happen, and I’m like, meh. Good things happen, and I’m like, meh. It’s like living in monotone. Monotone sucks.

Categories: anxiety/depression

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