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on looking my age. and liking it.

About a year ago, I looked in the mirror and saw something I hadn’t seen before. I saw a grey hair. I kind of freaked out a little bit. I mean, I was only 28. Aren’t old people supposed to have grey hair? Why did I have one already? It wasn’t fair.

When I first had Kaylie, I was asked constantly by strangers if I was babysitting, or if she was my little sister. I said, time and time again, that she was my daughter. I’d get weird looks and rude comments, but usually I got the exact same response over and over: “You look too young to have a child!” Yes. Thank you. I know. I am. But these things, sometimes they just happen and LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY.

Summer 05-12

When I complained about this “problem” of mine, I’d get told, “Oh, just wait till you’re older. You’ll appreciate it then.”

When Liliana came along, most medical professionals I dealt with assumed that it was my first pregnancy. I was newly married and I was 23, so why wouldn’t they think that? Still, though, I looked like I was about 18. I’d get dumbfounded expressions when I said no, this will be my second child. I have a five-year-old at home. Say what?!

With Preston, this happened again. First pregnancy? First baby? Are you looking forward to being a first-time mom? Have you ever changed a diaper before? You what?! You have two kids already? You look too young to be on your third child! We were in a new city, pretty much everyone I met I was meeting for the first time, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. But it still got to me. I mean, they didn’t mean any harm, obviously, but I’d been getting the same thing for 10 years already. It was getting old. Unlike me, apparently.

In Toronto, I obviously met a ton of new people. And it was great. I quite like meeting people, and didn’t meet a single person I didn’t like. But we’d get to the subject of kids, and when I answered that my eldest child is eleven, I’d get the dumbfounded look again. You have an eleven-year-old? I would have guessed you were only about 21! Or, How old were you when you had her? Twelve? I smiled, I nodded, and I sighed. This is going to go on my whole life, isn’t it? When am I going to start enjoying it? It can start happening any time now.

In the last couple weeks, I’ve been noticing more of these little grey hairs popping up. They’re only around my temples, but there’s one particularly noticeable one that I see every time I look in the mirror. And do you want to know what? I like it. I like them. All of them. All of the grey hairs, I like them.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I’m okay with getting older. I turn 30 next year and I’m kind of freaking out about it, but at this rate? At the rate these grey hairs keep popping up? Maybe by the time May rolls around, I’ll have enough of them that maybe I’ll actually look like I’m supposed to be 30. Maybe for once in my life I won’t get a shocked/appalled/dumbfounded response when I mention the age of my children or how many I have. Maybe I’ll actually look my age. And I will like it.

These grey hairs? I’m keeping them.

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  • Amy Tuesday, November 6, 2012, 9:07 am

    I look at them as sort of a badge of honour. I’ve earned them!

  • Kami Tuesday, November 6, 2012, 9:20 am

    I bet that gets annoying! I am not so cool with my grey hairs since I started getting them fast and furious at 27. I should aspire to be more like you!

  • Venessa Tuesday, November 6, 2012, 1:39 pm

    If I could find a Grey hair I would not color my hair. I am almost 32 and still none. :(.

  • Ashley Tuesday, November 6, 2012, 6:21 pm

    You and I are pretty much the same age (I turned the 2-9 corner last weekend) and while Bethany is my oldest I DO know the feeling of the assumption of being too young. Only last April I had a waitress ask my Mom how old her two little girls were and if she always travelled with “The sitter”. I almost kicked her in the shins – I worked HARD to get these kids here I want credit. I have a few greys too, along with acne so I’m either going to start looking my age or like a teenager who’s halloween dye didn’t wash out – it’s a toss.

  • Robyn Wednesday, November 7, 2012, 12:54 am

    I think I found my first grey hair around 21. I now (at 26) have quite a few, and cannot wait to get this child out so I can feel comfortable with dying my hair again. I have actually had to change how I part my hair to hide them.

  • Angella Wednesday, November 7, 2012, 10:51 am

    Way to go!

    I started going grey at 20 and have been dying my hair ever since. ;) )

  • jennifer glen Wednesday, November 7, 2012, 6:22 pm

    When I was a preteen, everyone thought I was older than I was. Then, somewhere along the way it switched and everyone thought I was younger than I was. I’m waiting for it to switch again. Just you wait…I’ll be 40 and people will think I’m 60! Now, I don’t think I would appreciate that very much!

  • mamalang Thursday, November 8, 2012, 10:18 am

    I have always had the same problem. I’m 10 years older than you, and people I meet can’t believe I have a 14 year old, let alone a 19 year old. I do repeat the mantra that it’s a good thing to look younger, but at the same time, it’s frustrating. When Katie was around 14 (so 5 years ago), she was having a sleepover. I was standing on the front porch in yoga pants and a tshirt with my hair in pig tails, and one of the girls dads asked me where the adult in charge was. When I told him I was Katie’s mom he laughed. I was so embarrassed, but the girls thought it was hilarious.

    I tease my husband that everyone thinks I’m his trophy wife, but that he got a bad deal since I don’t look like super model :)

  • Nicole Thursday, November 8, 2012, 11:59 pm

    Awesome. And don’t worry about turning thirty. It’s just an age and things are what we make of them. Plus there’s still 40, 50, if we’re lucky 60, 70, so meh, thirty is young!

  • Kim Friday, November 9, 2012, 11:42 am

    You are gorgeous :)

    People finally stopped being surprised I had adult kids, and now they’re surprised I’m a granny!

    It never ends :)

  • Bex Monday, November 12, 2012, 8:18 pm

    Dude, I approve of gray hairs. I’ve been getting them sporadically since the age of 23! I found my first WHITE ONE a few weeks ago. I mean, stark white, just a couple of inches long, sticking STRAIGHT UP and away from the rest of my hairs, standing tall and proud. Jeremy plucked it and then I punched his arm. NOW TWO WILL GROW IN, I said.

    Anyway! I agree with other comments. You’ve earned those gray hairs, mama. Wear ’em proudly. Maybe it’ll make it easier to resist the urge to roll your eyes when everyone talks about how young you look ;-)

  • Meg Friday, November 30, 2012, 5:33 pm

    You are beautiful and I’m trying to teach myself to love my grey hairs.

    I do pluck them sometimes though…

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