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parenting fail

I’ve felt like quite the parenting failure lately. Want proof?

Kaylie

Exhibit A:
Last week as I picked up Kaylie from school she said to me, “Why didn’t I have a lunch today?”

“Huh? Lunch?”

“There was no lunch in my lunch bag today! But that’s okay. Some people shared with me.” FAIL

Liliana
(That beard-ish thing Liliana is sporting? It’s dirt. Yes, yes it is.)

Exhibit B:
Last night the girls were playing on Kaylie’s bunk. The top bunk. I warned Liliana that if she stood up, she would have to come down. I gave her two chances. Then I took her down. She screamed and flailed and threw the biggest fit I’ve seen her throw in a while. It was almost bed time anyway, and she was already ready for bed, so I put her in her own bed, turned off the light, and shut the door. (Typical bedtime routine, but without the prayer.) (Although I’m sure God would be able to hear over the screaming, I was going to wait until she was calm.)

She screamed and screamed and banged on the door and screamed. I went in there mostly calm, talked to her in a mostly calm manner, and shut the door as I normally would have.

She screamed and screamed and banged on the door and screamed. I went in there not so calm, talked to her in a stern manner, and shut the door as I normally would have.

She screamed and screamed and banged on the door and screamed. (Is this a Robert Munsch book?) I was not at all calm anymore. She kicked me when I tried to put her back in her bed and made my ears ring. I took her kicking and screaming to the bathroom to wipe her nose. I hit my hand hard on the door knob. I pretty much lost it. I wanted to throw her in her bed. I wanted to spank her. I could feel my blood boiling. My head was about to explode.

(Side note: we don’t spank. Not because we believe spanking is wrong, but because we believe that spanking when you’re angry is wrong.)

I took her back to her room, laid her down, talked to her very sternly, and walked out. It was all I could do to keep from slamming the door. I thought, What would that be teaching Kaylie if I did that? I didn’t slam it. My self-control level was at about 1%, just enough to keep me from completely blowing a fuse.
FAIL

Liliana eventually stopped screaming, but didn’t fall asleep until after 9:30pm. (Which means Kaylie didn’t fall asleep until after 9:30 either, but she was being good.) I had Why the heck did I have children? thoughts going through my head. I’ve been getting into the habit of lounging on the couch watching my DVR’d shows until about 10 or 10:30pm and then cleaning the kitchen and living and heading to bed at about 11. Last night though, I fell asleep on the couch exhausted from the tantruming and didn’t wake up until Noah came home from work at 3:30am. I think he was shocked to see me there instead of curled up in bed with the portable DVD player that I usually leave on his pillow. (I’m nice like that.)

The age of two is fun. But I could do without the tantrums.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I’m not looking for encouragement here. I’m all good, I just have my failure moments. They pass. They always do. When I check on the kids before I go to bed and see them sleeping soundly, all is forgiven and forgotten. (And by forgotten, I mean I blog about it so that it stays around until the end of time.)

Categories: parenting is hard

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Ann Matthews Friday, May 22, 2009, 9:38 pm

    Yeah, I don’t ever do stuff like that because I’m the perfect mother!!

  • Kami Friday, May 22, 2009, 9:50 pm

    I think you did very well, I would have slammed the door. I am so immature and lose my cool in those situations.

    It’s best for everyone’s health that we are out of that stage now.

    You can use this during the teen years…or at her wedding, but you can make yourself out to be perfect for those situations. It calls for that!

    Kamis last blog post..How to become a tree hugger, like me

  • Amy - BiteTheRabbit Saturday, May 23, 2009, 7:03 am

    This makes me feel more human. I had a parenting FAIL day yesterday. But today is a new day – deep breath.

    Amy – BiteTheRabbits last blog post..My Girl

  • Angella Saturday, May 23, 2009, 10:24 am

    I may or may not have slammed the door this week.

    *Hangs head in shame*

    Angellas last blog post..I’m So Hot

  • Dad Saturday, May 23, 2009, 1:25 pm

    I’d say Pass not fail on exibit “B”, you kept from snapping, and you staying consistant with following through on your demand of no standing on the top bunk, those are plusses on the parent scale, yes they are, love yas, Dad

  • teresa Saturday, May 23, 2009, 2:37 pm

    Oh, tantrums, wonderful tantrums. I’m impressed that you kept your cool!

    Oh, and love the dirt beard :)

    teresas last blog post..Our home

  • Dad Saturday, May 23, 2009, 7:17 pm

    Oh, and the missing lunch, not a fail either, it was there in spirit if not in physical form, Kaylie knew it was there just needed hetr friends to bring it to fruitian, there ya go, you’re doing ok, still love yas all, Dad.

  • Elizabeth Saturday, May 23, 2009, 11:49 pm

    I don’t think you fail. I would’ve spanked. I’ll pray that these days are few for you (and for me too, okay?).

    Elizabeths last blog post..Sigh…

  • Anna-b-bonkers Sunday, May 24, 2009, 12:15 am

    You are amazing! I would have blown that fuse, had to go out and scream or something. Seriously, you aced it in my books.

    Forgetting lunch. Ya. I won’t go there. I have had a straight two week fail.
    Suppers were blown too. We had to go to my parents place a handful of times just to eat real food.
    Then yesterday Ethan wanted a burger for breakfast and Kaitlyn wanted KD.
    Ethan got a balognie ‘burger’ with cheese and K got kd.
    Fail.
    At least we had french toast for lunch.

    Anna-b-bonkerss last blog post..Counting down to the art festival and a baby

  • Dad Sunday, May 24, 2009, 10:40 am

    Ok me again, my mom has a little plaque on her wall that says, in dutch ‘foet gemakt, straipy ter dor, verder gaan’, with the dutch spelling mistakes and in english it says ‘mistake made, cross it off, try to do better in future ‘. My last reply , promise, but I’m on a roll…..bye for now, love yas, Dad

  • Susie Tuesday, May 26, 2009, 2:12 pm

    I had a few days like this this week too. LOL. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

    Susies last blog post..Bye Bye Baby…

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