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Oh, this last week. The days have been … well, they’ve been. They happened. They were full and fun and stressful. I’ve spent most them on my couch in front of the TV (Buffy the Vampire Slayer on) with my computer on my lap. I built a website for my mom, I helped a friend when her website blew up, and I put together a design that another friend created (she painted the picture, I just framed it). When I wasn’t doing that, I was hanging out with two 11-month-old baby boys, planning my very own baby fighting ring. I’ve had a 12-day-long headache/neck ache that T3s hardly touched. It’s brutal. It’s much better today, though, finally. I haven’t had to take any drugs so far. I’m hoping it’s gone by Monday

I mentioned that I’d been picking up my Canon a lot more, but this week I’ve hardly touched it.

Thank goodness of Instagram, right? We’ve had some crazy weather here. A week or so ago it snowed and the snow came up to my knees. The last couple days we’ve all gone out without winter coats. Kaylie was even wearing capris and she wasn’t cold. AND IT RAINED! I never thought I’d be so happy to see rain.

My anxiety has been at an all-time high lately. I can’t shake it. It’s like I’m vibrating and I’m seeing stars and I can’t stop my brain from twitching. Last weekend and this weekend Noah has spent with the girls at his parents’ place (they’re away on holidays) to give me a break.

The girls aren’t the source of my anxiety and it’s not their fault, but having them away, and some time to myself (with Preston, who naps and goes to bed at 6pm) really helps. I’m thankful that Noah is in tune to my sucky mental health and helps out so much when I’m struggling. I’m okay during the day, when it’s just me and the boys, but as soon as the girls get home from school it’s like all hell breaks loose and I lose my ability to cope. I’m hoping that it settles down in the next couple weeks as SPRING comes and we’re all able to get outside more often.

It seems as though Preston is learning new things every minute. He’s now walking more than he’s crawling, he can even bend down, pick something up, and get back up and keep going, and this past week he climbed stairs for the first time. We don’t have stairs in our house (well, we do, but not in our part of the house) so he’s never really had the chance to try. But, when we were at the in-laws’ place on Monday, I put him at the bottom of the stairs and he followed Liliana half-way up, and then he stood up and fell backward (into my arms). Next time we’ll try make it all the way up, but I was so surprised he could do it!

The girls wanted to go outside yesterday and when they asked if they could get dirty, I said go right ahead. They got completely covered in mud. For one, I’m quite proud of myself for letting them get dirty, as kids getting dirty usually gives me anxiety, and for another thing – mud! MUD! Unfrozen dirt! Dirt that is not covered in snow! This is a good thing. Spring is coming, or here, depending on who you ask and when they determine spring to start.

Now, with that — that being all my whining, sorry about that — Preston and I are off to get some food to fill our empty fridge. The goldfish just aren’t doing it for me anymore.

Oh, and if you’re interested, here is my latest post at Canadian Family, which is directly linked to spring: The Trail-a-Bike: For Young Riders Who Want to Keep Up

Categories: anxiety/depression

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  • Angella Sunday, March 18, 2012, 7:37 pm

    I want to smoosh him.

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