≡ Menu

The Bachelor: Chris – Episode 9

Please excuse all spelling, grammar, and tense mistakes in this post, as it was written in haste, okay?!

Three are left. Who will be voted off sent home tonight?

Bali! Oh, Chris. Oh, Chris no. Take those shorts off. As in, replace them with longer ones. LONGER ONES, CHRISTOPHER. PUT ON LONGER SHORTS. Finally the show goes to a tropical destination!

First up: Kaitlyn! I like her a lot. I think she and Whitney are tied for my favourite, for different reasons even. Kaitlyn is fun, Whitney is sweet. Both are caring and kind and want what Soules wants. I think either of them would be a great fit for Soules.

Soules and Kaitlyn walk up to this temple thing. Soules hands her some cloth thing to wear and says they’re not allowed to kiss inside. Some local women put baskets on Soules’ and Kaitlyn’s heads, and they go through some spiritual rituals. It must not have been interesting, because that part lasts about a minute.

They walk around the village and talk to everyone they come across, even a couple monkeys. One of which jumps on Soules’ head. And pees on him. Kaitlyn can’t control herself. Until the monkey jumps on her. They sit down to chat abut how the hometown date went. If they don’t end up together, I’m going to be really sad. I mean, I don’t know why, but these last couple seasons have hit me harder at the end. I feel awful for the women who go home. I feel genuinely sad and devastated for them. How can you fall in love with a guy, take him home, and then get dumped just like that. Goodness. I’m cringing just thinking about it.

The two sit down to dinner. Kaitlyn is shaking. She’s nervous to tell Soules that she loves him. She has a bit of a guard up because of how shattered she was after her last relationship. She’s afraid to be vulnerable. I get that completely. Soules says he’s excited about what they have. There’s some awkward silences, but not really in a bad way.

Soules pulls out the fantasy suite card. “Chris and Kaitlyn, welcome to the magical island of Bali. I hope you’re enjoying your stay. Should you choose to forego your individual rooms, please use this key to stay together as a couple in the fantasy suite.” Kaitlyn: “I can’t imagine saying no to this.” Soules: “This is exactly what we need.” Yea … I know what’s going down tonight.

Kaitlyn is still nervous about telling Soules how she feels. Her voice shaky as she tells him how she feels. There is kissing. Soules tells her that he’s falling in love with her as well. This doesn’t happen. The Bachelor/ette doesn’t say this. Soules, you’d better not break her heart!!!!! Kaitlyn: “Chris is someone I can totally see myself with forever.”

Aaaaand curtain.

Next up: Whitney! I wonder what length of time is between each date. Is there at least a day and a night between each date? Or is it a leave one lady in the morning and meet the other lady that afternoon kind of deal? There just has to be a day/night in between. There just has to be.

Anyway! They hop on a ship and have a picnic. She’s so adorable. Whitney is still sad that her sister didn’t give permission for him to propose. They head out to sea on the Plataran. She’s completely in love with him and has never been so sure about something in her entire life. You have a one in three chance, my dear. Well, ok, one in two. I don’t see Soules with Becca at all.

Whitney explains to Soules about her sister, and how irritating she is. How pessimistic she is. But history hasn’t been on their side. Their dad left when Whitney was six months old, her mom was forced to work full time, and her sister, from an early age, had to take care of her. Her sister is protective. Soules comforts her and puts her at peace about all of it.

Soules asks Whitney if she wants to jump into the ocean. With the sharks. SHUT UP, DUDE! I don’t know if I could do it. Oh, never mind. They jump in and get right back out. But those two minutes would nearly kill me. Whitney says she is convinced that she will marry Soules. He still has some questions, though.

Whitney has an incredible career, so he doesn’t know how she’d do sacrificing it. Whitney wears an awful dress to dinner. Soules asks her if she has any concerns, and again states that it’s one of his biggest insecurities. He says that Arlington has 500 people. There’s nothing to do in Arlington. “So you go other places.” The closest city is two hours away. He spends a lot of time home by himself. He doesn’t say this as a woe-is-me thing, but a it’s-not-going-to-be-a-party thing. She says that she worked so hard to get where she is, but half of her is still missing. She wants to be a wife and a mom. Her career is her “fall-back plan”. “It’s not where you are, it’s who you’re with.” She wants to get married and have babies. He says he can see her being a part of his life, a part of his family.

Fantasy suite card! She’s into it. Soules: “We need to take this to the next level.” I WONDER WHAT THAT MEANS. Whitney: “Cheque please!”

Aaaaand curtain!

And lastly: Becca! Soules is nervous that Becca has never been in love before. They head to some fields/gardens and drink fresh coconut milk. When I was in Haiti I had fresh coconut milk and it was not good. Why? Because it was warm. Next time I’ll be refrigerating it first. Becca is so awkward. They interact with the kids, which, in my opinion, is the best part of travelling. The kids are so great, so excited to see you.

Becca and Soules sit in front of a few … tribal leaders? I’m not sure. They give advice for the couple. Becca asks for advice about the night. “Making love.” She loses it.

Soules is concerned about how Becca feels about him, if it would work out between them. Becca: “It’s been a learning curve for me.” She’s nervous that he’s inviting a virgin into the fantasy suite. They climb into a river and make out for a while. Becca: “It increases the temptation!”

Becca is very nervous about telling Soules that she is a virgin. The way she talks, she seems so young and naïve. She has such little life experience. Maybe that’s a good thing? I don’t know, I’m not Soules. I just don’t see the two of them together. At all.

Dinner! Becca says how much she loved the day. Soules says that he can envision a life with her. He asks her what she thinks about Arlington. Can she see herself there? She says she’d have to make sure she was really sure about them before she makes that move. She says she’s been experiencing this overwhelming feeling of wanting to be around him all the time, and missing him when he’s not around. She loved having him around her family. “I think that’s what falling in love is?” Soules says he’s crazy about her.

Fantasy suite card! She says that she knows there’s going to be kissing, but beyond that, there’s going to be temptation. They talk about what a big deal this night is … they kiss … they walk toward the suite and walk in … they toast to the night … and she gets into it. She says that she’s never been in love and she’s never brought anyone home to her family and she really feels like she’s falling in love with him. But! She has something to share with him. She sound like she’s leading up to something huge, like she used to be a man or something. But she finally spits it out. “I am a virgin.” He takes a big sigh. I think he’s nervous. He doesn’t have words. He says he respects her and commends her for it. Becca: “His response is perfect. You know, I was waiting till marriage, but I’m falling in love with this guy. My heart’s all in. I’m excited to see what happens!”

The morning after should be interesting.

Becca walks along the beach and Soules says he’s falling in love with her. He’s more confused than ever as to where he and Becca stand. He’s not ready to send any of the girls home. Whitney and Kaitlyn have said that they’re in love with him and can see themselves in his world. He says he might have to say goodbye to Becca. He wants all three girls in his family. But you only get one, dude. No polygamy here. He tears up just thinking about the decision he has to make. As he wears his short shorts. Ok, they’re not SO short, but they’re short. He talks about how hard the week was, and how much anxiety he’s feeling. He’s terrified. Monkeys!

Harrison comes to chat with Soules. Soules says he feels like he might have regrets. He sees himself spending his life with all three of them. He isn’t sure who he’s saying goodbye to. He feels strongly about one rose, and is on the fence about the other. And Becca isn’t ready to move to Iowa right away. He’s very torn. He sees himself and Kaitlyn together, and he also sees himself with Whitney. Harrison leaves him with his thoughts and says he’ll see Soules at the rose ceremony.

Soules says he thinks he sees the light at the end of the tunnel. But he needs clarity to help him make the decision. Is this why the dates went by so quickly? So they could show Soules deliberate for an hour? Well if Becca stays, then they got us.

Soules and Harrison are wearing traditional garb. There are very strict rules about where they are at this moment, regarding affection. Holding hands is ok, but that’s about it. Harrison asks Soules how he’s feeling, and he says he feels ok. He’s going with his gut.

The three women are in traditional garb as well. All three women are head over heels for him. Becca, again, is second-guessing herself. I don’t think she’s ready for all this.

Rose ceremony! Soules greets the women and tells them how lucky he is to be standing where he is. He tells them the last week has been heart-wrenching. And now he needs to make an excruciating decision. First rose! I’m pretty sure this is going to Whitney. Aaand the rose is put down and Soules asks Becca if he can talk to her for a sec. Whitney says that Becca told her that she thinks she’s going home.

She says she doesn’t want it to be over. Soules: “I really do like you.” Becca says she felt a wall go out. She doesn’t want to leave without him knowing how she feels. She’s sure she’s going home, but says she wants to have further conversations about Arlington if this whole thing continues. Soules says he feels he put her in a tough spot. For him it’s finding true love, finding the person he’s meant to be with. It’s the most difficult decision he’s ever made.

The other girls think he’s saying goodbye. Kaitlyn’s excited if she’s going, because it would mean good things for her, more of a chance of being with Soules. So … oh crap. Both of them are coming back. This means that one of the roses is going to Becca. Noooooooooo!!!! She’s not a sure thing! She is on the fence about Arlington and doesn’t know if she’s in love with him. Dude. You want a wife! Not a maybe kind of person. Whitney is caught off-guard. “She can’t be right for him if I’m right for him.”

Soules apologizes for making them all wait. Anyway, first rose! Dramatic music … Whitney … dramatic music … deep breaths … dramatic music … Becca. WHAT THE EVERLOVING CRAP?! I know for sure then that Whitney is going to win. Becca can’t be the one. It’s just not possible. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. Did he sleep with Becca and now he feels guilty? What. The. &%*@!?

Soules walks Kaitlyn out. She won’t look at him. He says he doesn’t even know if it’s the right decision. “I’m following my heart.” WRONG THING TO SAY, MISTER. “There’s no real right decision.” YES THERE IS. SEND BECCA HOME. Soules walks Kaitlyn to the limo. She falls apart. He opens the limo door and she gets in. “This is the most humiliating moment of my life.” Yup. I’d feel that way as well. She says she kept her guard up because of this reason right here. She let it down, and then this happened. Goodness, I feel awful for her.

Soules sits down on the entrance steps and falls apart a bit. He’s pretty good at fighting it in general, but this time it’s not going as well.

Next week! Women Tell All! And in two weeks! Soules takes the girls to meet his family. This … if Becca wins, I’m giving up on life.

Categories: bachelor(ette)

Comments on this entry are closed.

Next post:

Previous post: