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The Bachelor: Chris Tells All

KELSEY TELLS ALL

First up, it’s Kelsey’s turn! This should be interesting. Harrison asks her some hard questions, about how she was not liked by the other girls because they found her condescending, and about her “stealing time” with Soules. The latter is just … she’s not the first contestant to do that, so it’s a non-issue. The former, she didn’t understand why there was a problem.

Harrison then asks her about the “panic attack”. Was it fake? “No!” She says she had no control over her motor movement. “I’ve never had a panic attack before but as a mental health professional I know what they are.” Sure you do, Kelsey, sure you do. Harrison asks her more questions about it and she just blows over them like it was nothing that she said she should get a rose, and asked Soules to come talk to her. I can’t take her seriously. I think she made it all up and actually convinced herself that she’s telling the truth. Goodness, girl.

The two-on-one date? Kelsey says that Ashley had been kind to her up till the date. Kelsey says she respects Ashley, but evidence says otherwise. Harrison asks her if she’s nervous about seeing the other women at the Women Tell All, and she responds that she thinks she’ll be crucified.

I’m looking forward to seeing how it all plays out.

CHRIS TELLS ALL

Finally, the man we’ve been waiting to hear from. Soules says it’s hard to watch the show back because of all the emotions that it brings up. So! The two-on-one date. Soules was surprised when Ashley told him about Kelsey. Harrison asks why Soules threw Ashley under the bus. Soules just wanted to get to the truth. To put it all out there. He didn’t send the women home just because of that date.

Next up? Ashley S. My favourite. (No sarcasm intended.) She is just the best. Soules says he first noticed her oddness full-on on the paintball group date. Soules says he was legitimately scared of her. At the house, apparently she would just wander around at night. Crashing the crew’s work and dinner. She was weirded out by the cameras and totally went off the deep end. She thought the crew, as they were working on production stuff, was betting against her. Instead of doing the work they were doing.

Apparently her audition tape showed a completely normal person. Nobody could have predict what would ensue once the shooting started.

Harrison asks Soules about Drunk Tara. Soules just wanted to give her a second chance after the first night. Soules picked up on Drunk Jordan at the second rose ceremony. But then! She returned! He learned very quickly that she needed to leave again. As for Jillian, he was instantly attracted to her. He was excited about the one-on-one, but there just wasn’t chemistry.

Juelia. The one whose husband committed suicide. Both Soules and Harrison say what an amazing woman she is, and how the rest of the women loved her as well.

Jimmy Kimmel! He quite enjoyed having Jimmy the week he guest hosted the show. Especially when he was woken by Jimmy, who then crashed his date with Kaitlyn.

Love guru! Most awkward date ever. He and Carly finally had enough and put a stop to the date.

Becca! Nearly killed by a freaky donkey.

Britt! The connection was immediate. Passionate first kiss. Deadwood? Kissing in front of all the other girls. Taking Britt off to the Big & Rich concert. If looks could kill, the rest of the women would have killed Soules and Britt upon their return.

Harrison says that Soules is the most sincere Bachelor the show has ever had.

ANDI TELLS ALL

If you haven’t heard yet, Andi and Josh are no more. She is in tears as she talks to Harrison. She says she hasn’t been coping well. It’s been a tough month since their breakup. They’d struggled a lot before the premiere of Soules’ season, and broke up just days later. She was 100% sure she’d found her soulmate. She wasn’t all lovey-dovey in the past, not till she met Josh.

They didn’t fully grasp how not well it was till they got to the premiere and people engaged after them were already planning weddings and had chosen a date, whereas Josh & Andi hadn’t done that at all yet. She says the breakup was mutual. They both have strong personalities. They both fought for the relationship, but it just didn’t work out. She’s overwhelmingly sad. Harrison asks her if she’s still in love with Josh. She says she’ll always love him. She’s never loved anyone like that in her entire love. It was her first true love. It was true heartbreak. They’re not talking anymore. It’s not a healthy place for them to be talking to each other.

Where does she go from here? She’s heartbroken. It’s the biggest failing of her life so far. Harrison comforts her, tells her that she didn’t fail. She says she feels she’s let so many people down. She hopes that she and Josh will be friends one day. Harrison says that he is so sorry that it didn’t work out, and wishes her happiness in the future.

That’s it for the tell-alls. Basically a check-in with a few people whose stories needed a bit of clarification or explanation. And now, we return to Deadwood for the rose ceremony …

Categories: bachelor(ette)

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