So! Ok, I decided to write for the remainder of this season, even though I missed writing about the first few episodes. Can I start out saying how much I like Kaitlyn as the Bachelorette? To be honest, I don’t think I would have watched the season had Britt been the Bachelorette. She just rubs me the wrong way and I find her super annoying.
Eleven are left. Who will be voted out tonight?
Where did we leave the guys last week? Oh, right. Ian. You know, I really liked him at the beginning. But right now? Right now he deserves a kick in the balls. What I see is a guy who sucked at singing and is so humiliated that he’s taking it out on Kaitlyn trying to make her seem like the bad guy. Dude. You need to learn how to laugh at yourself. Also? I’m glad your true colours are coming out now rather than further on in the season. Jerk. “It’s really difficult for me hanging around with a group of guys that are just making fart jokes …” OH MY WORD SERIOUSLY. This dude needs to go. And he needs to get a sense of humour. “… and all the movie quotes.” Ok, now I want to go hang out with these guys. Like I’ve said before, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to be on the crew of this show. It would be so fun.
“I came here looking for the girl that had her heart broken and was devastated by Chris Soules, not the girl who wanted to have her field ploughed by Chris. … I really see you as a surface-level person at this stage, I wonder if you’re really that shallow …” DUDE YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS. I cannot even believe he is saying these things. He goes on to say more douchey things. Luckily for Kaitlyn, she has no trouble telling Ian off, totally calls him on his douchiness.
Dude walks off with his head held high. I hope you walk into one of those marble pillars and crack your head open, Ian. He then hops in the limo and brags about how awesome he is. I almost want to punch him in the face. “I think I’m destined to be the Bachelor.” OH NO NO NO. “Oh man, I need to have some sex.” *dick-punch*
The rest of the guys are concerned about Kaitlyn. Nick comes and finds her. “I like Kaitlyn, I’m protective of her.” I don’t know how I feel about Nick, but if a guy feels he needs to protect his woman’s feelings, even if it doesn’t benefit him, because he cares about her, he’s a good one. Nick tells her that he likes her movie quotes and likes her quirky sense of humour. He says lots of nice things to her/about her and makes her smile and laugh.
The guys are upset because Nick is getting time with Kaitlyn even though he already has a rose, well GUYS. She is upset and SOMEONE had to check on her. Give the guy a break! He’s trying to cheer her up!
Joshua is nervous about going home, as he should be. He should also get a haircut because asking a girl to cut your hair with three seconds notice with crappy clippers? Not so wise, mister. Ryan Gosling (Shawn) is nervous about opening up to her while he gets closer to other guys, he’s afraid of shutting down again. That’s pretty legitimate. He walks in to see Nick and Kaitlyn making out. He pulls the whole why-is-she-with-other-guys-when-she-should-be-with-me thing that happens with guys/girls every season. It makes sense. It’s hard to see your girlfriend with another guy. But that’s what the guys signed up for, and I know they know that, and maybe I’m defending this guy because I like him for her. He walks away and has himself some alone time. Understandable.
ANYWAY. Kaitlyn admits to being a make-out bandit, but the physical connection is important to her, which is legit. I feel so bad for her. She’s had a tough season with assholes and confrontations and all that. She goes back to the group of the rest of the guys and tells them briefly of what went down with Ian. Chris Harrison then walks in and steals Kaitlyn away for the rose ceremony. Many of the guys stand up for her and hate what Ian did and said to her.
Chris Harrison checks in with Kaitlyn to see how she’s doing. She’s had a roller coaster of a time, but is excited about where this is going. Chris tells her to enjoy her time in his home state.
Kaitlyn walks up to the guys, three of whom have roses. Nick, Shawn, and Ben H. She tells the guys that it’s been difficult, but she’s following her heart. First rose goes to … Jared. Chris. JJ. Joe. Ben Z (Benzi). Chris Harrison announces the final rose … DRAMATIC MUSIC … Tanner.
Looks like the awful haircut cowboy is going home. ___ goes out sweetly, telling her that he hopes she finds what she’s looking for. In a kind way, not a mad way.
Next stop? DUBLIN, IRELAND! I’m so jealous. I want to visit Ireland so badly.
Oh my word, Ireland is so beautiful. The guys are drinking dark beer! I love dark beer. Ryan Gosling is again worried about Nick.
DATE CARD! Kaitlyn comes and delivers the news herself that Nick is the lucky guy who gets the one-on-one date. Shawn is so NOT impressed.
Nick & Kaitlyn walk around a park &canal and run into some birds. Kaitlyn, obviously, is terrified of birds and freaks out a little bit. They walk up to an Irish river dancing thing and join in. They check out a couple street vendors and end up looking at a Claddagh ring. I had no idea that these were a thing outside Buffy/Angel. Apparently it’s a real thing rather than a Joss Whedon thing. Who knew. Nick bought one for both of them. They stop in an ally and bake out a bit. And then in the street. They can’t keep their hands off each other.
They stop by a bar and Nick explains why he came to be on the show, and how excited he is to be there with her. Kaitlyn is worried that their physical attraction is too passionate. That they have intense chemistry. Which is obvious.
Back at the house the guys aren’t stoked about Kaitlyn being out with Nick. Jared just wants any opportunity to hang out with Kaitlyn.
DATE CARD! Tanner, Benzi, Shawn, Jared, Ben H, and Chris. Which leaves JJ and Joe. A two-on-one?
Kaitlyn says that this is one of the most magical dates she’s been on. Nick says he loves everything about Kaitlyn so far. They have dinner in Christ Church Cathedral, which is GORGEOUS. Nick is insanely charming. Kaitlyn says she likes that he’s done this before but is worried that the guys won’t like him because of that. She is totally falling for him. Nick feels bad about the things he thinks about Kaitlyn in a church. They both struggle to hold back. Kaitlyn picks up the rose and gives it to Nick. “Nick just makes me feel like a woman. A desired woman.” She then invites him back to her hotel. He asks her if she’s going to sleep with him, she says no. They make out under an archway. Yea … nothing’s happening back at that hotel …
Back at the house Shawn and Nick talk about how much they hate that Nick is on the one-on-one and how much they want to be the ones there with her. As they talk, Nick and Kaitlyn enter Kaitlyn’s hotel room. Jared says how shocked and stunned he was when Nick was asked to stay on the show. Nick & Kaitlyn meanwhile are in her hotel room making out. She doesn’t want the night to end. Shawn doesn’t think that Nick gives a rip about anyone else besides Kaitlyn. Which, duh. Kaitlyn invites Nick into her bedroom and shuts the door.
Shawn thinks Nick is 100% coming home with a rose. I think Nick & Kaitlyn forgot they have mics on. This is awkward. Shawn: “Who knows, maybe he does make it to the very end. Seriously, Kaitlyn, FIND THE MIC AND TURN IT OFF. Jared: “I dunno, we just have to trust Kaitlyn.” As Kaitlyn is heard moaning. Gah! Poor other guys. I mean, I know there’s a lot of sex on the show, but nothing is said about it at all besides on the overnights, when it’s a given.
Next morning! Kaitlyn is on the balcony and wondering if this is a normal thing that happens. She says she feels a lot of guilt. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone and is hoping Nick doesn’t say anything to the guys. He tells the guys about the date, and says that Kaitlyn invited him back to her suite and that they talked for a while. Yea, Nick, “talked”. Kaitlyn is very worried that Nick will say something. He repeats the story to more of the guys who walk into the room, again saying the part about Kaitlyn inviting him back to her suite. He tells them it was intimate and personal and comfortable and that was that. Kaitlyn is frustrated with herself, saying it was a mistake.
Group date! The guys are stoked to see Kaitlyn. Chris Harrison tells the guys that Kaitlyn is dead. And that they’re about to have a traditional Irish wake. Kaitlyn is lying in a coffin. Kaitlyn can’t keep it together. Chris Harrison talks about how wakes are a celebration of life, rather than just mourning a death. The guys are to write eulogies for Kaitlyn. They’re pretty good. All hilarious. Ryan Gosling: “I was absolutely devastated when I heard you took your own life, but I understand. I would have done the same exact thing if I would’ve spent the entire day with Nick yesterday.” Kaitlyn can’t keep it together. Girl has a great laugh.
Benzi cleared out the room. His mom died when he was younger, so Kaitlyn is worried about him. He says he wishes they had more time together and that she’d always be in his heart. So sweet. The priest guy comes in and plays an Irish song. Everyone has a grand time dancing.
Kaitlyn and the guys meet up at the Guinness storehouse and I AM SO JEALOUS. I bet she gives it to Benzi. He takes her aside and says how hard this was, which was why he cleared the room. He tells her that he’s never been this open in his life. He says she’s surprisingly good at making him feel better. Jared steals her away next and says how much he likes her laugh quite a lot.
Shawn says that he’s nervous about his guard going back up, and steals Kaitlyn away. He has a big Irish family, and has some photos of them to show her. She loves them. Group date rose goes to … Jared. Shawn is hurt.
Jared and Kaitlyn walk into another cathedral. These are so gorgeous. There is a band playing for them while they dance … The Cranberries! The two of them dance while they’re serenaded.
The guys are feeling down due to their lack of time with them. Ryan Gosling is taking it the hardest. He doesn’t know if he’s going to make it. He shows up at Kaitlyn’s room and it looks like he’s going to grill her. But of course NEXT WEEK ON THE BACHELOR.
There are a lot of tears, a lot of disapointment, a lot of regret. Can’t wait!
Please excuse all typos and bad grammar and tenses that fly around. I’m typing fast and not proof-reading it, MMKAY?