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tired of living by force

I want you
I cannot see any other way out
You fill my thoughts so completely
There is no room for any other
I want to stop
I don’t know how
I don’t see any other way

You’re like a thick dark cloud
A relentless fog
A hedge-less maze

It takes all the willpower I have
Not to walk out that door
And give into you who promise relief
I can’t take the pain anymore

Categories: anxiety/depression, poetry

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  • bethany actually Friday, July 23, 2010, 12:03 am

    Walking through the valley sucks. Please hang in there! Praying for you right this very minute.
    .-= bethany actually´s last blog ..pink is the new…uh- pink! =-.

  • Heather Friday, July 23, 2010, 5:38 am

    I’m sorry you’re there, hon. Hang on. <3
    .-= Heather´s last blog ..Controversial Topics =-.

  • Jen Friday, July 23, 2010, 7:57 am

    I’m here if you need to talk Jen. Hang in there! Sending lots of love and strength your way.

  • jane Friday, July 23, 2010, 2:04 pm

    “Oh for a thousand tongues to sing my great Redeemer’s praise………………He breaks the power of cancelled sin and sets the prisoner free; His blood can make the foulest clean; His blood availed for me!!”

    Soak that hymn up dear Jen and hang in there!! We had an really nice visit with your parents last week.
    Like Mum, your grandmother, we pray for all of our family………God is good and knows all our deepest needs and has THE answer. Jane

  • teresa Friday, July 23, 2010, 2:43 pm

    oh sweetie. hugs. call me if you need anything, and i mean anything at all. hang in there.
    .-= teresa´s last blog ..The last few days =-.

  • Lollie Friday, July 23, 2010, 11:04 pm

    Psalm 139
    1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
    2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
    3 You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
    4 You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
    5 You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
    6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!
    7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
    8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
    9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
    10 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
    11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
    12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
    To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.

    13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
    14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
    15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
    16 You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
    Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.

    17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
    18 I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
    And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!

    There’s more, but this is the part that always gets me;)
    I love you!

  • Valerie Saturday, July 24, 2010, 8:02 am

    Hello there!
    I’ve followed your blog for a while, via a link on another one (org junkie I think). Without realizing it, I got used to your updates and posts. Reading this one, I see you’re on a bad day, to say the least! It’s time to write a comment. It also feels weird to read from you without even presenting myself! I think I’ve got used to your blog because of your two adorable kiddos and your interest in photography. Well then, my name is Valerie, I’m French and I think you seem to be a neat person who’s blessed with a wonderful family, and you don’t deserve this darkness. You’re witty, funny, brave and beloved, and for a few people you mean the world. I know a few people who’d love that. It doesn’t change the valley journey you’re going through, but I hope it’ll cheer you up a bit: TO MEAN THE WORLD to someone!! I’ve got cutie pies and I love them more than life itself (I’m quoting you!) and I think this in itself is a lifesaver, isn’t it? Think of their smiles and hugs, get well again soon, right?!
    All the best,

  • Kami Sunday, July 25, 2010, 4:01 pm

    Hey you…take care and perserve okay? There are so very many of us, including me, who care about you not to mention those beautiful little girls.


    And I am here if you need me. Always.
    .-= Kami´s last blog ..Photos and Rants for Phun =-.