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what I want for mother’s day

I’ve been dreading Mother’s Day for a while. (Or is it Mothers Day?)(Or Mothers’ Day?)(The day belonging to the mother? Or the mothers? Or is it the day of mothers?)(The grammar of it is certainly not the point of this post.)(Carry on.)

I don’t like exclusionary “holidays”. Ones like today, and Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day. I don’t even like (secular) Christmas, but that’s a whole different ball game. I don’t like that certain dates on our calendar bring pain to so many people. Wouldn’t it be better to have Women’s Day? And Men’s Day? And Queer Day for good measure? Don’t those fit EVERYONE?

I’m sure most women who are mothers have been asked what they would like for Mother’s Day. So, here, I have listed what I want.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for childless mothers to have their arms full of children.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for motherless children to be embraced.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for no mother to have to lose a child ever again.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for no child to have to grow up without a mother.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for all post-abortive women who live in regret every single hour of every single day to be able to go back and re-do their decision.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for no woman to feel like they have to avoid church or public places because of the loneliness or shame or rejection they feel for being childless.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for women/couples who are childless by choice to not be ridiculed for her/their decision.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for every failed adoption to have a happy ending.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for every broken relationship between mother and child to be mended.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for every abusive mother to realize the consequences to her actions.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for no woman to be hurt by the carelessness of others. (I’m looking at you, Costco, wishing every woman a Happy Mother’s Day.)

What I want for Mother’s Day is the bazillions of dollars spent on flowers and cards and such to go toward something more useful, like fertility research or crisis pregnancy centres or feeding and housing the homeless.

What I want for Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate all women of all shapes and sizes and classes and roles.

What I want for Mother’s Day is for the world to be a safe, accepting, empathetic place.

But what I want for Mother’s Day will likely never happen.

Categories: things that matter

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Jenny Sunday, May 12, 2013, 6:56 am

    I like what they do in the UK – it’s called Mothering Sunday. Instead of celebrating (biological) mothers, the day recognises the spirit of mothering, that instinct to love/nurture. That way it honours parents of adopted/foster children, teachers, etc…

  • Grannie Sunday, May 12, 2013, 10:42 am

    Amen!

  • Erica Sunday, May 12, 2013, 3:09 pm

    Amen! Over and over again. Have you seen this post? It’s been floating around facebook this week:
    http://www.messymiddle.com/2012/05/10/an-open-letter-to-pastors-a-non-mom-speaks-about-mothers-day/
    Pretty spot on, I’d say.

  • Kimberly Monday, May 13, 2013, 5:39 am

    I love love what Jenny said above…spirit of mothering.
    I totally agree with you that we don’t need to be singled out. We should do all of those things and do them ALL the time. It’s so sad that we need one day to recognize the beauty that we all do.

  • Ashley S Monday, May 13, 2013, 11:16 am

    Me too….in fact if I truly could choose anything I wanted, I’d make it a Miss America wish and have “World Peace”.

  • Nicole Monday, May 13, 2013, 1:08 pm

    Thanks for this, Jen. Well said.

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