≡ Menu

Where did you go?

The decision to put my blog on hiatus was both a long-awaited and a quick, spur of the moment decision.

It was a Sunday morning. I’ve spoken of my love/hate relationship with Sunday mornings before. Well, apparently Sunday morning-ness + an ugly cry + a giant panic attack = a month-long blog shut-down.

The long answer to the What happened? question would take a doctor and three shrinks a hundred hours to explain, so let’s just say this. I’ve not been well. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. All of it collided the Sunday morning that I shut my blog down. It wasn’t a good day.

I needed the reprieve from putting myself out there, from feeling vulnerable. A week of calming down (and a simple re-design) later, I put the front page back up and just posted the Project 365 and 7 Days photos, since photography simply makes me happy. I just wasn’t ready to start posting thoughts/ideas/feelings again. I was miserable.

Now? I’m okay. Ish. Better than I was. I’m putting some new things to practice, and putting some old things behind me (or trying to anyway). It’s made a difference.

It’s been horrible and wonderful all at the same time. I was overwhelmed (in a good way) with the amount of people who emailed, called, and stopped me in church to ask what was up and tell me that they missed my blog. Pardon me while I quote Sally Field, “You like me! You really like me!” It’s just nice to get that once in a while, you know?!

Besides the terrible horrible no good very bad stuff, here’s some of the other stuff that’s been going on:

  • After having what felt like the worst weekend of my life, my Opa (grandpa) called to say he’d be there later that week. (Apparently God knew I needed a pick-me-up!) I was crazy excited because he lives 2,000 kilometres away and I hadn’t seen him in almost a year. We had a WONDERFUL time with him. There is a post dedicated solely to that visit coming up.
  • We got a new vacuum. You may not find this exciting, but we did. Our vacuum head broke a couple months ago and we’ve been using the floor brush on our carpet. We knew it was doing a lousy job, but we couldn’t afford a new vacuum at that time. When we got (part of) our income tax back, Noah went out and got us a new vacuum. We learned just how crappy of a job the floor brush was doing when the canister of the new vacuum was full after vacuuming our small 860 square-foot apartment only once. Yuck.
  • I’ve had a mission in life to see how many body parts I can live without. Okay, I’m kidding, but I’m about to lose another one (I had my appendix removed when I was seven). I had a surgical consult in Moose Jaw a couple weeks ago and a pre-op appointment earlier this week in preparation for having a tonsillectomy later this month. I am scared to death of the surgery (medical stuff makes me extremely squeemish), but I’m very much looking forward to finally being tonsil free.
  • I’m done doing childcare and I couldn’t be happier about it. I actually liked the little guy that we kept after I went back to work, but I just couldn’t cope anymore. The weeks that we had him only one day were doable, but the weeks we had him three times totally sucked. My sleep was suffering, which meant that everyone was suffering. I was just a miserable mess.
  • Speaking of sleep, I’ve decided that it’s a waste of time. I’m still getting used to this working-full-time-and-being-away-from-my-family-45-hours-per-week thing. It’s been a few years since I worked full time (besides the month of August last year) so it’s still a shock for me to be gone so much. And, when I’m not gone, I’m either exhausted or sleeping, which is why I say that sleeping is a waste of time.

    On more than one occasion since I started my insane night-shift job, my sleep/wake schedule has been as follows: sleep 6.5 hours, awake 22 hours, sleep 9 hours, awake 28 hours, sleep 13 hours, awake 20 hours, and so on. I miss the simple days of sleeping at night and being awake during the day.
  • Kaylie’s Spring Break starts today, which means that I get 11 solid days of having her around 24/7. (Pretty sure I’m more excited about that than she is.) Today is also Noah’s last day of classes for the semester. Now we (he) just have to get through exams and we’ll (he’ll) be university-free for four whole months! I’m looking forward to having the computer my husband around more. You know, until he gets one of those job things.

I think that about covers it. I definitely enjoyed the blogging holiday, but I’m also happy to be back.

Thanks for sticking by me.

Categories: anxiety/depression

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Heather Thursday, April 9, 2009, 6:44 am

    Glad things are looking up!

    Heathers last blog post..Losing It

  • Jen Thursday, April 9, 2009, 8:03 am

    Glad you are back! Keep on that road to healing Jen. We’re here for you. :)

    Jens last blog post..New

  • Meg Thursday, April 9, 2009, 8:31 am

    I’ve missed you terribly, but also understand needing space. All that matters is that YOU feel better and post about what YOU are comfortable with. Even if it means a month straight of photos (I like to pretend that I actually know your girls when I’m looking at their pics-is that creepy??), we will all understand!

    Megs last blog post..I live.

  • Kami Thursday, April 9, 2009, 9:58 am

    I am sorry you weren’t feeling very good, I have been there, for me it was homonal. It’s good to get it sorted out, life sucks when it sucks, you know?

    I hope you are on the road to yourself again, there ain’t nothing better!

    Kamis last blog post..For Misty

  • teresa Thursday, April 9, 2009, 10:27 am

    Glad you’re back to blog-land and glad you’re starting to feel better :)

    teresas last blog post..I’m starting to get it

  • Angella Thursday, April 9, 2009, 10:56 am

    I am glad that you’re getting better. I’ve missed your posts :)

    Angellas last blog post..Life Is Too Short

  • bethany actually Thursday, April 9, 2009, 12:54 pm

    So glad you’re back! :-) I’m sorry I’ve been a lousy sugarfree buddy after all…but I have kept praying for you!

    bethany actuallys last blog post..Troy according to Annalie

  • Elizabeth Thursday, April 9, 2009, 3:03 pm

    Peace. A Blessed Easter and welcome back.

    Elizabeths last blog post..Courtesy: The Little Mermaid

  • Amanda Brown Thursday, April 9, 2009, 8:30 pm

    Glad to see you’re back and taking steps to keep yourself healthy and well.
    I had my tonsils out when I was 16 and ooh, it hurt, but so nice not to have big stanky chunks in the diseased caverns of my throat all the time. :) You’ll do fine!

    Amanda Browns last blog post..Shameless Self Promotion

  • jadekitty Thursday, April 9, 2009, 11:23 pm

    Yea for breaks, but bigger yea for sorting things out and coming back stronger :)

    jadekittys last blog post..Captioned

  • Anna-b-bonkers Friday, April 10, 2009, 12:15 am

    I too have gone through the blog hiatus thing. I have never made it back full time and I don’t dedicate as much time to it as I used to. Maybe I just don’t care enough or am too busy or am still feeling the winter slump.

    Anyway, I am dying to get my tonsils out. They are huge, always have been. They seem to produce stinky stuff that looks like cottage cheese and I have to dig at them. My dr says there is nothing wrong but I am soooo done with them!
    What are you getting yours out for? Maybe I should see your doctor!

    Anna-b-bonkerss last blog post..This cable man guy I am married to…